Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
I was cleaning out some old bookmarks when I unearthed one that cataloged a collection of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy. For those not old enough to remember, these were very brief vignettes on Saturday Night Live that paired a static image -- often of nature -- with a dry, deadpan voice-over. They were dark and odd and I loved them. A few of my favorites:
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
